“A man’s greatest battles are the ones he fights for himself…”
Ben Okri
As we sail in the ocean of our lives, we encounter many challenging problems and conflicts that trigger our strength, faith and goodness to God, to ourselves and to our brethren. We even encounter conflicts which involves ourselves against ourselves, the Internal Conflicts.
Internal conflicts or intrapersonal conflicts hit us and the other side of us. It is a matter between our knowledge and wisdom (mind) and conscience (heart) on what option or way would we choose to resolve our certain problems. Practically, it is hard to handle or manage our internal conflicts alone. We need a companion, an adviser that gives brilliant advices that enable our minds to be enlightened. In our part as students, we experience various conflicts and challenges. We experience hardships and tiring activities that pushed us sometimes to quit studying. We even experience internal conflicts that confuse our minds. In the other side, most of the students see that education is a great treasure that must be acquired, so one must study hard to finish his studies and enable to graduate and find a good profession.
But sadly, some of the students have their financial crisis in their family that results an internal conflict in a way that he wanted to continue his studies, but because of some financial problems, his parents cannot support any longer his studies. There, the rebellion against his parents uprose from his heart to say and display that he really wants to finish his studies. There, the internal conflict occurs. Internal Conflict in a way that he wanted to finish his studies, but he cannot accomplish it. He was
depressed, and such point came that he planned to have his rebellion. Now, let us discuss about it and seek answers to this situation.
We received a letter from an unknown sender here in our blog and in our special section:
Dear Mr. Adviser. His situation is one of the common problems of youth attending to school. He really wanted to finish his studies but due to financial problems of his family, he cannot able to fulfill it. He was depressed and felt the rebelling emotion inside him. He planned to leave his family and to find his destiny out there, hoping to pursue his studies, but he cannot do it because of the same problem: MONEY. The internal conflict there is he is struggling between his desire, his wants to continue in going to school and his inability to sustain himself, his dependence to his parents. He is suffering an emotional dilemma, whether to obey the will of his parents to temporarily stop his studies or to let himself reign inside him the spirit of violence, hatred and rebellion against his parents to show to them that he badly wants to pursue his education.
His conflict is really difficult to deal. Imagine, you are told to stop temporarily to study because of some problems? Even if it just temporary, but it wastes time. It wastes his effort to finish studies this year, and it wastes hope, hoping that someday, he would be the person he is expecting for himself. The only thing I can advice to him is he must obey his parent’s decision, for his parents think about his future. His parents would not decide to stop him to go to school if they do not have the concern for their son. For the part of the parents, it is not easy to decide to stop his child from going to school due to some problems, for they also aim the good and prosperous future of their son. If for this unknown sender thinks that his parents aim to destroy his future and ignore his true happiness, then the parents would let him go to school until their financial status is totally complicated, and the parents would not care to their son even if he is already struggling for money and being humiliated by his classmates because of his situation. His parents do not want their son to go to school without proper and appropriate financial budget for their son. Second is to advise him with the words of wisdom, to explain to him the exact explanation for him. Listening and giving advices to the problematic and depressed person make them enlightened and make their feeling light. For me, the advice I can give to him is just wait until that time comes that you will continue your studies. Everything fits in a perfect timing. Third is just study hard in your current situation (i.e. if you are still studying in a school just for completion of a grade). If you can’t really hold your desire to finish your studies any longer, you can have your financial support for yourself even just a little one. You can apply what you have learned in school into reality by transforming it as a means of financial support for yourself and might as well, or your studies. If you have really that strong determination to continue your studies, you can make recycled products and sell it to earn a profit. Do it until you earn enough money to sustain your studies, as you wait for your parent’s support for you. You can have also an agricultural business. If you earn enough amount of money from your business, you can continue to your studies! Remember, there’s no impossible to those who have a strong determination to achieve your dreams. Do not entertain depression, for it will just ruin your personality. Be optimistic, forward – looking and always think and hope that someday, you will overcome all these challenges successfully. Fourth, remove your hatred and rebellion against your parents, for it will push you to danger. Do not plant hatred, rebellion and other negative feelings in your heart because it will just result to chaos of your family. Instead, enhance the relationship between each other and nourish the love for each members of the family. Accept your situation and instead of thinking such negative things, help each other to resolve the financial crisis of your family. Try yourself to contribute to the solutions of your family problems and later on, you will realize that you can able to finish your studies and resolve your family financial crisis because of love, teamwork and the spirit of acceptance. Lastly, do not forget to utter and trust in the mercy of God, for He will never leave on your side. Nothing is impossible with Him. You cannot resolve a problem without Him. Lay your faith to Him and He will never fail you. Over all, internal conflicts will be getting bigger if you do not handle it properly and you chose a false decision. Internal Conflicts will be solved only if you
1. Stay calm, 2. Speak up, 3. Listen, 4. Be Assertive, and
5. Forget and Forgive. Just stay calm in resolving your problems. Speak up to the elders about your problem so that they can give you advices on how to resolve it. Listen to both sides so that you can clearly find your answers. Forget all your painful memories. Move on and along with it, forgive the persons who did wrong to you so that you can successfully resolve your internal conflicts. This is not only applicable for those persons who have their internal conflicts against their parents, or about the financial status or studying, but for all persons across the globe. Only these we can give you for your enlightenment. I hope that this article of our blog can help you a lot in resolving your
Internal Conflict.
Internal Conflict can be resolved if you have the characteristics of being an optimistic person. Later on, this internal conflict will not get bigger if you wisely handle your situation. Fight your internal conflict and don’t forget to always include in your lifestyle the presence of our Lord because He will always help you in struggling the waves of life, as we continue to sail for the other destination of our life. How about resolving Internal Conflict? Is it really difficult? Well, if you comprehend and apply the message of this article, then I can see no wrong to say,
“No.”
